Much as we feel trapped by them, we all benefit from a routine. That's what makes holidays so special!

Routines give security, structure, a sense of achievement and they are as essential for children as they are for us. The truth is that although we think we're being modern liberated parents by allowing our children to choose, weíre actually doing more harm than good.

The role of a parent - amongst other things - is to nurture and assist your children into becoming a fully socialized adult, able to function in a grown-up environment. Insisting your child puts their shoes away, washes hands before meals and feed their guinea pigs on a daily basis are all ways in which we help our children to take responsibility for their lives. And the younger they start the better.

Often teachers are frustrated by the line, but my Mum forgot to put it in my bag. Children will forget, as we do, but gentle reminders and praise are all that's needed to round your children into wholesome humans. Consistency is essential. Eventually one day it sinks in. True, we all get sick of the sound of our own voices and wonder when we'll be able to stop the daily, sometimes hourly reminders, but the day when you see your children putting their lunchbox in the allocated place and hang their coat up, all your years of nagging dissipate into sunny parental bliss.,

There are of course times when we all need time out, children too. As the adult in the situation it is your duty and responsibility to decide which battles to pick or leave. To read to your children and decide when they are tired or when you are nagging for the sake of it is all part of the fun. It is your job to make the decisions as to when your child needs to reflect on their actions whether right or wrong.

My own children have always had the benefit of a Thinking wall. This marvelous, magical and movable structure can materialize in any building and in any country whenever you feel the need for back up and parental support. Just a minute for each year of the age of the child, for instance, 3 minutes for a 3 year old is all that's needed to think about the biting incident, hitting or thoughtless act they have just undertaken. Behaviour in children is how they are judged by others and reflects on you as a parent. By making sure you are doing all you can to raise your children with love, security and boundaries is something you owe your children and part of the reward of parenting.

Routines, praise for good behaviour and a back up strategy when things don't go as planned are what your children need. Ultimately you all as a family benefit from them and children look to you to provide them with structure in their lives.

Establishment of these simple structures in daily family life allows your children to grow into the disciplined, stable and happy individuals you lay awake at night wishing they will be. You owe it to them and yourselves.